Discipline...or the lack of.

I awoke early this morning with the urge to write about something, but with no idea what I wanted to write about. Then I read Big John Lipscomb's latest blog about children in Walmart acting like monkeys on crack.

I'll admit it....I have three children that do act like monkeys on crack when they are at home. Teen recently had to pay to replace an oil lamp globe he broke. Pretty princess has turned many of our walls into an art gallary. The middle child climbs the walls...literally. Every wonder why we use the "Shrek" picture as a family portrait? Its a completely acurate portrayal, right down to hair color (substitute blond for bald).

Yet, for some unknown reason, they behave themselves when it comes to being out in public. Our refridgerator is filled with more commendations for exceptional behavior at school than it can hold. And even though pretty princess is the biggest handful, she will look at the other squalling children at Walmart with a look that says, "Jeez, girl, get over yourself."

And yet, if you have ever watched those nanny shows, you can see why kids act the way they do. Its almost as if the parents expect the kids to act that way 24/7. One woman I remember even dropped a bombshell. "She's crying...isn't that abuse?"

And there is the problem. Between psychologists telling us how we are to raise our kids and the fear of CPS, we have become a nation that is scared of teaching our children the proper way to behave. Parents have very quickly gone from "spare the rod, spoil the child" to thinking that even a constructive, verbal correction is bad for the child's self esteem. Let me tell you something...several years ago, a University gave a self esteem test to 50 inmates and 50 undergrads. Guess who had the low self esteem according to that test....nope, it was the college kids.

It goes to show you...psychology is crap science. And its compounded by overworked day care people who just don't give a crap anymore. And even more, its compounded by overworked parents.

No, you don't have to abuse your children. Yes, I know and see what abuse is, but I know there is a very clear line between abuse and discipline. You also don't have to be a control freak. When Little Man started climbing the walls, it was simply a matter of asking him not to do it and telling him why. When Mr. Man broke the lamp globe, it was, "Get your money out...we're going to purchase a new one." (Lucky for him, they were half price that day, too.) As for Pretty Princess....well, mom had learned from grandma long ago that little kids don't scream their heads off if the mouth is busy. Yes, it gets tiring to sit in a cart for an hour or more, and that can make one cranky...but a juice box and lolly pop can perk you up and keep you from getting fussy, which in turn keeps the people on the next aisle from having to listen to a wailing youngster.

What about those older children too old to sit in the cart? Well, moms and dads....you are their conscience. All it takes is a little, "Hey, boys....we're not going to act that way." But today, I'll see kids as old as ten being Mr. Lipscomb's "monkeys on crack", and mom doesn't even give them a stern look.

Society has consequences for poor behavior. You loose friends. You wreck your car. You get fired. You get sent to jail. You get tasered. Aside from simply learning proper behavior, kids need to know that there are consequences to their actions, and the fact that there are consequences needs to be taught in a safe, loving environment before they are thrown into the real world. Time out, extra chores, taking the video games away....and don't just threaten it, do it! And while they may act like you are the meanest parent in the world at the world, one day they'll thank you.

The word "discipline" means to teach. So teach them now, in the warmth and safety of your loving arms, before they get thrown to the wolves. After all, it is your job.

"Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of little children."