Fun with DHS...in ways that won't get you in trouble.

The rumor (which could be true) is that DHS (Department of Homeland Security) is watching our every move. They are recording our phone calls. Robots are reading our E-mails, following our online activities. Some even go so far as to say we are being tracked by our phone GPS (even when the phone is off) or that they are going so far as to listen in or watch when using our nifty computers that have built-in web cams and microphones.

So, I was thinking up some ways to have fun with DHS...but ways that won't get you in trouble!

1. Take your phone with you only on mundane trips, such as the grocery store. Linger a bit too long in the baking isle. For even more fun, make a special trip, but don't purchase anything.

2. For surfing the net, pick an obnoxious celebrity. Google their picture endlessly. Make sure to use Google, and not Ixquick.

3. Play music, and sing loudly into your microphone. For even more fun, sing badly. Obnoxious songs are even better.

4. For the webcam, pick your nose. Make a chore out of it....really dig for gold in there.

5. Also for the webcam, try to imitate a stupid movie dance. If you are truly brave, you can webcam yourself dancing like "Buffalo Bill" from "Silence of the Lambs".

6. Have two e-mail accounts...email stupid stuff to yourself, peppered with buzz words. Say stuff like, "Obama is da bomb!" It will cause the robots to red flag your e-mail (or blog), but when they have a real human read it, there will be nothing they can do since in youth vernicacular the phrase means, "Obama is a great guy." This might work with your phone as well.

7. For street cameras, smile and wave. Hold up signs with friendly messages as well. In areas where it has already been implimented, people have used signs saying, "Just going to store to purchase a cola."

8. Put "Ron Paul" bumper stickers on normal people's cars. This works especially well in areas where they are already pulling people over simply for having these bumper stickers. Eventually, the people will either get tired of being pulled over, or the police will tire of it and eventually quit. One caution, though...you may wish to put the sticker on with clear tape rather than using the glue on the back of the bumper sticker...I know my dad considered it vandalism when a company put their bumper sticker on his car without his permission. If you put it on using clear tape, then they have the choice of removing it without injuring the appearance of their vehicle.

9. Put up pictures of Bush II as the joker. See if people throw as big of a hissy fit as they did about the Obama joker posters.

Have fun, and have a good day.